My Heart Will Go On
by CosmicalMadison
Summary: AU. Everything Bella wishes she could tell Edward after his death at the end of New Moon. Songfic.


_Title:_ My Heart Will Go On

_Author:_ CosmicalMadison

_Summary:_ AU. Everything Bella wishes she could tell Edward after his death at the end of New Moon. Songfic.

_Rating:_ K

_Genre:_ Songfic

_Author's Note:_ I hope you guys like this. It just sorta jumped on me, so I had to write it. The lyrics are "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. (And, yes, I know Edward didn't die in the book.)

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I was on my way home from school the other day when for some reason I decided to turn on the radio. I haven't been able to listen to any music since…you left. It always reminds me of the time you played your song on the piano. But, almost subconsciously, my hand reached out and hit the power button.

Immediately, a familiar melody started to play. I couldn't identify the song at first, but when I recognized it my hand instantly darted to turn it off. This song was the hardest of all to listen to, because it reminded me so much of us…

Somehow, though, as it began, I couldn't quit bring myself to do it. I pulled over to the side of the road, tears flowing from my eyes as I listened.

_Every night in my dreams  
I see you, I feel you,  
That is how I know you go on_

_Far across the distance_

_And spaces between us_

_You have come to show you go on_

It was like the song was really describing me. Every single night since you…died…I've had the same dream. I see you in the meadow, holding me, as we took the first real steps in our relationship. I always wake up crying, but not from pain or sadness anymore. Only from the beauty of the memory, from seeing your face again.

_Near, far, wherever you are  
I believe that the heart does go on  
Once more you open the door  
And you're here in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on  
_  
If it's possible, I've grown even closer to your family in the last few months. They've moved back to Forks, and I see them almost every day. Alice and I are especially close, and I spend all my spare time with her.

Don't think we're just mourning you, though. We all know you wouldn't want that. We try to do homework, see a movie every once in a while, and just generally hang out. We even invite Jessica and the rest of her posse over sometimes.

There's one thing I know you'd be proud of, though. I've managed to calm the feud between your family and the Quileutes. Jacob and his wolf-brothers have been instrumental in that. When we came back from Italy, he was waiting to apologize to Alice for how he treated her. They've become good friends now.

They two groups will never be the best of buds, but at least they're not openly hostile anymore.

_Love can touch us one time  
And last for a lifetime  
And never let go till we're gone_

Love was when I loved you  
One true time I hold to  
In my life we'll always go on

If I could really talk to you, there would be another thing you'd want to know. I've decided to step up my relationship with Jacob. We're going steady now. At first I felt like I was betraying you, but I know you would want me to be happy.

I don't love him the same way I did you - that was once in a lifetime - but I still care about him and he feels the same. We've both been hurt by everything that went on, and it seems like we're just right for each other. Everyone who's in the loop agrees.

_You're here, there's nothing I fear,  
And I know that my heart will go on  
We'll stay forever this way  
You are safe in my heart  
And my heart will go on and on_

I'm never going to forget you, Edward. I love you, and I always will. The short time I spent with you was the best in my life.

I remember Carlisle telling me that you didn't think vampires had a soul and therefore no afterlife either. I disagree. You were such a good person, love, that I just know you'll be waiting for me at Heaven's gates when I die.

Yes, of course I've changed my mind. Why would I want to be a vampire and live forever if it meant I could never see you again?


End file.
